I was rejected this week
It was a good rejection in the sense that no resentment or ill will was harbored between the two of us.
Nevertheless, getting rejected still hurts. A lot. It's quite a surreal experience. It's what I imagine having a "bad trip" on LSD is like.
The woman in question is very pretty, meticulous to a fault, highly intelligent, and hard-working. I sent her a letter declaring my intent and hoped for a favorable response. This letter had spent years in the oceans of my mind, being broken down into pieces and reworked countless times. It's not an exaggeration to say that the formulation of this letter is one of the most important things I've done in recent years. But alas, despite all the time and effort, Lady Luck was not smiling on me this week. She didn't just outright say no, that'd be rude, and she's anything but rude. The rejection came sorta like a swift kick to the balls concealed by smooth talk and suggestive motions. She said that she just wasn't ready for me yet, and that "maybe later" would be a better time.
This kinda stuff gets people thinking deep, "what is the meaning of life" deep. So, I've been thinking and I've come to the conclusion that the world is out to get you. Nothing you do will make you happy, and others will do their darnedest to keep you unhappy. Perhaps they aren't actively trying to make you unhappy, but their own pursuit of happiness negatively affects yours. It's similar to what William Hazlitt wrote about money, "If you don't have money...life sucks, but if you do have money...life sucks too" (paraphrased slightly for easier comprehension). The world, society, everything, are just chucking obstacles at us, screwing our lives over.
I hold no grudges, and don't blame anyone but myself for having conceived such a letter. It's sad, really sad. I've always dreamed of volunteering at Beaumont Hospital, Royal Oak. But now, that dream has been dissolved in the ether, thanks to Debbie Donald of Beaumont Hospital Volunteer Services, never to be dreamed again.
*Disclaimer
I don't know what Debbie Donald looks like since her LinkedIn page has no photograph. Nor do I know much of her personality except what I could glean from her email to me.
Allan, okay wow great job! I thought this was like some sort of love story until the very end, so great writing skills! I think the way you connected the piece to your life was super interesting and I never would have thought of it. Also, don't feel too bad I was told earlier this year I had missed the deadline for applying for volunteering at Beaumont so I know the feeling. Life isn't out to get you-it'll be ok in the end! Keep that smile up!
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