Anyone can learn AP Gov in 2 days

When the framers of the constitution debated on the type of government America should be, they had to decide between a pluralist government, a participatory government, or an elitist government.

The federalists wanted a large pluralist government composed of elites, sorta like a mix between elitist and pluralist. They argued that this form of government would prevent a single party from taking over the government and oppressing minorities.

The anti-federalists believed that such a large government wouldn't be able to get anything done and wouldn't be able to accurately represent the people. The multitude of parties proposed by the federalists would have such diverse views that a majority would never be reached in the creation of any legislation.

As we know today, the federalists won the argument and were able to mold the government to their desires. But, they were cognizant of the fears the anti-federalists felt and implemented checks in the constitution to assuage such fears.

However, the framers couldn't have predicted the degree of polarization that we have today in our political parties. The knew the path to a more perfect union was "hemmed with peril" and they did everything in their power to keep the human desire for power at bay but it wasn't enough. As of a result of each party catering to their radical bases, the fears of the anti-federalists have been realized. The views of the two parties are so heterogeneous that they can't agree on anything, creating disastrous roadblocks that no bill can get through.

The art of the Innuendo

Innuendos are a way of life. To become a master of the innuendo is to become fluent in the language of the gods. This is a crash course on how to use innuendos, when to use them, and when not to use them.

Firstly, it is important to understand that innuendos are not always meant to be a come on. They are any allusive or indirect comment. However, the most important ones are the sexual ones. They help us to satisfy our carnal desires and to further propagate the species.

To use innuendos you must:
-Have taken Health 1, to deepen your understanding of the ins and outs of intercourse.
-Place emphasis on key words in a sentence to really get the point across.
-Realize that words are only part of the message, expression and body language also matter.

Use innuendos when:
-You're with close friends who understand your mastery of the innuendo
-You want to really weird out some normies
-The time has come for you to seal the deal with your significant other

Don't use innuendos when:
-Trying to make a good first impression. Most people don't have an appreciation for them.
-You're talking to someone stupid, as asking them to "come up for coffee" will go right over their heads.
-With the parents of your significant other. They won't appreciate it.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me

Prejudice. A preconceived opinion that is not based on reason or actual experience.

We make sense of our hectic world by quantifying and categorizing everything. This includes people. If you saw someone on the street, before you can even interact with them, you have already formed an opinion about them based on skin color, clothing, gait, and a multitude of other factors. And it's not just you who has formed an opinion, the other person has also formed an opinion of you. From that point onwards, your interactions are dictated not by individual character but by prejudice. 

How do we reduce prejudice? To figure that out, we must first examine why prejudice occurs. Take for example, the prejudice against Africa Americans today. They were horridly mistreated and oppressed in the early 1900's and that sentiment towards them carries over today into mainstream culture. As a result of the prejudice they experience and in retaliation to their oppressors, they took the n-word, which was used to verbally abuse them, and made it their own. Black people use it colloquially, however, it's considered an insult should another ethnicity use it. This isolation of the n-word makes it racially charged. If everyone was able to use it without social backlash, it wouldn't be a word that is exclusively used to insult blacks. This phenomenon of reducing tension around a word has happened throughout history. Some of the words that we think are quite innocent today would have raised some eyebrows in the past.

Take for example the word "fascinate". Today it means to draw irresistibly the attention and interest of (something), but in the past, it meant something much more promiscuous. In ancient Rome, fascinate meant to hypnotize someone with your penis magic, which is done using your big metal erect penis charm. Another great example is the word "occupy". In the 17th century, it had the same connotation as the words "penetrate" and "enter" have today.

These examples of common words used today that once had vastly more negative definitions shows how the continued use of a word alters its meaning over time. As Michiko Kakutani says, "blacks...want to use the word 'nigger' to strip the term of its racist connotations." This is how we reduce prejudice. Through the continued use of a racially charged word, we can eliminate its racist undertone and thus make a word that is used colloquially by everyone. 

I believe in plant and animal equality, that's why I'm an omnivore

Why go Vegan?

Humans aren't the only animals on Earth. We live amongst countless other species of animals. As humans, we should seek to avoid the exploitation of other animals for food, clothing, or any other purpose. It isn't right that 60 billion land animals and over 1 trillion marine animals are slaughtered annually just to satisfy our taste preferences. 

Pigs and Cows are slaughtered while conscious, blood gushing out of their arteries while they hang suspended on meat hooks. Chickens are kept in pens crammed to brim with their own excrement. The meat we eat comes from horrendously mistreated animals that are subject to the worst living conditions on the planet. 

The meat you buy at the market comes in a nice package, but before it was in a package, it was attached to a living animal. A sentient being was killed just so you could go home and eat a pot roast. There are alternatives to meat that taste just as good as authentic animals, and result in lower blood pressure and cholesterol, lower rates of heart disease, type 2 diabetes and some types of cancer. Going vegan lessens your impact on the environment. The average ecological footprint per person is 2.84 hectares while the Earth can only support 1.73 hectares. Going vegan will ensure that your children will be able to see blue skies and breathe clean air. 

Stop the heartless slaughter of animals and secure a green future for your children, go Vegan today.

Why go Carnivoran?

Animals aren't the only sentient beings on Earth. The kingdom Animalia is only 1 of 5 different kingdoms representing the innumerable species that call Earth home. It's commonly assumed that Animals are the only sentient lifeforms on Earth, but that is false. The Plantae kingdom also contains sentient beings. Plants. They feel pain, they can communicate with each other. Suzanne Simard conducted an experiment that provided irrefutable evidence showing how trees can talk to each other. 

Plants desire the same things as other sentient beings: food, water, shelter, freedom of movement, and avoidance of pain. Plants create a hormone called auxin that helps Plants grow towards their food, the Sun. Plants will consciously grow towards a water source. A Plant will actively attempt to grow out of a cramped space in search of open space. If a Plant is injured, the Plant will grow away or around the source of injury. 

Plants have feelings. A study done by IKEA shows that Plants respond to negative emotions just like humans. A Plant growing up listening to compliments will flourish while a Plant who's home life is nothing but abuse will wilt. 

Plants don't want to die or get eaten. Go hug a cactus or crawl into a bushel of roses and you will hear them saying back the F off.

As humans, we have no right to submit Plants to the cruelty that we submit other animals to. Since we are at the top of the Animalia kingdom, we control the happenings within our kingdom. This control does not extend to other kingdoms. It is our duty to punish animals that affect other kingdoms negatively. By eating them.

Since Plants are sentient just like animals, what makes them different? Plants help our environment by consuming the harmful chemicals humans create and turning them into O2. Animals on the other hand, take the precious oxygen that Plants create and turn it into CO2, something that humans already produce enough of on our own. 

Eating animals instead of Plants helps reduce the human ecological footprint on Earth and helps to preserve the environment for future generations. 

I'll say what I want, when I want

To speak your mind in the United States requires that you have a mouth, equipped with a trachea and an esophagus. The trachea must also contain a pair of vocal cords. "Nothing else is required." Given such basic requirements, it's expected that many many people would say whatever was on their mind. Yet, people who speak their minds are few and far between.

This disparity between the expected and reality is due in part to the culture of fear that has sprung up. There are certain "controversial topics" that can only be discussed in hushed tones under the cover of darkness. People are afraid to say what they think because they might be shunned or even attacked. It doesn't matter which side of the aisle you stand on, you can be sure the other side won't let it slide. This culture of fear prevents healthy discourse between individuals possessing different opinions.

In the interest of self-preservation, people separate what they really think and what other people think they think. You would think that fooling other people to think that you think like they think keeps what you think safe, but all it does is slowly change what you really think into what you think you're making others think you think. If you think about it, everyone is thinking in this way, which means that no one is thinking what they really think.

It's ironic that in the Land of the Free, and Home of the Brave, there are things that can't be said and people who don't dare to talk about them.

The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry

I was rejected this week

It was a good rejection in the sense that no resentment or ill will was harbored between the two of us.
Nevertheless, getting rejected still hurts. A lot. It's quite a surreal experience. It's what I imagine having a "bad trip" on LSD is like.

The woman in question is very pretty, meticulous to a fault, highly intelligent, and hard-working. I sent her a letter declaring my intent and hoped for a favorable response. This letter had spent years in the oceans of my mind, being broken down into pieces and reworked countless times. It's not an exaggeration to say that the formulation of this letter is one of the most important things I've done in recent years. But alas, despite all the time and effort, Lady Luck was not smiling on me this week. She didn't just outright say no, that'd be rude, and she's anything but rude. The rejection came sorta like a swift kick to the balls concealed by smooth talk and suggestive motions. She said that she just wasn't ready for me yet, and that "maybe later" would be a better time.

This kinda stuff gets people thinking deep, "what is the meaning of life" deep. So, I've been thinking and I've come to the conclusion that the world is out to get you. Nothing you do will make you happy, and others will do their darnedest to keep you unhappy. Perhaps they aren't actively trying to make you unhappy, but their own pursuit of happiness negatively affects yours. It's similar to what William Hazlitt wrote about money, "If you don't have money...life sucks, but if you do have money...life sucks too" (paraphrased slightly for easier comprehension). The world, society, everything, are just chucking obstacles at us, screwing our lives over.

I hold no grudges, and don't blame anyone but myself for having conceived such a letter. It's sad, really sad. I've always dreamed of volunteering at Beaumont Hospital, Royal Oak. But now, that dream has been dissolved in the ether, thanks to Debbie Donald of Beaumont Hospital Volunteer Services, never to be dreamed again.


*Disclaimer 
I don't know what Debbie Donald looks like since her LinkedIn page has no photograph. Nor do I know much of her personality except what I could glean from her email to me. 

A discourse on the art of dumpster diving

If it looks like trash, if it smells like trash, and if it feels like trash, it probably is trash.
-A Wise Man

Most people's idea of a good time probably doesn't include eating trash. But there are those of us out there, who relish the idea of chowing down on some good ol' trash. Below are a few tips and tricks that just might help you out when your wallet gets thin.

What to Bring:

• Sturdy clothes are an obvious necessity. You don't want to get any cuts from sharp objects.
• Flashlights are helpful if you're diving at night. A head-mounted light is better, cause it frees up both hands. 
• A knife will help with cutting open trash bags and fending off overzealous raccoons. 
• A phone is a great help reporting dead bodies to the police. 
• A ride is also great in case the owner of the dumpster decides to come at you with a knife/gun.

Where to Dive:

• Grocery stores are a great place to find fresh produce.
• Malls and shopping plazas often have dumpsters behind their stores. Here you can find more exotic goods with a unique flavors. 
• Big stores like Walmart and Kroger throw out foods near or past their expiration date that are fine to eat. 
• If you're looking for foods that have a certain je ne sais quoi, look no further than your local 168 or Patel Brothers. They import foods from all over the world which will certainly give your tongue a new outlook on life. However, know that foreign stores are stingier than American stores and only throw foods out when they're way past their expiration date.

What is generally safe to eat:

• Breads won't harbor any large bacterial colonies as long as it's relatively dry
• Most fruits and vegetables are safe to eat as long as you pare off the blemishes. 
• Meat is where things get a little shaky. As Lars says, it's a good idea "to avoid game, poultry, pork, and egg-based foods." This doesn't mean you can't eat meat, deceased pets and human bodies (if you choose not to report the body to police) are generally quite fresh and can be eaten with proper organ removal. 

As with all things in life, dumpster diving has it's own etiquette.

• It's a bad idea to leave a mess, so please clean up after yourself.
• If you happen to find private or confidential information in a dumpster, you should only sell it if you're willing to never return to said dumpster.
• If you see a dumpster behind a closed fence, only dive there after dark. 

With these tips in mind, I wish y'all good luck in you're duster diving. 

One man's trash is another man's dinner.

-The Wisest Man