Innuendos are a way of life. To become a master of the innuendo is to become fluent in the language of the gods. This is a crash course on how to use innuendos, when to use them, and when not to use them.
Firstly, it is important to understand that innuendos are not always meant to be a come on. They are any allusive or indirect comment. However, the most important ones are the sexual ones. They help us to satisfy our carnal desires and to further propagate the species.
To use innuendos you must:
-Have taken Health 1, to deepen your understanding of the ins and outs of intercourse.
-Place emphasis on key words in a sentence to really get the point across.
-Realize that words are only part of the message, expression and body language also matter.
Use innuendos when:
-You're with close friends who understand your mastery of the innuendo
-You want to really weird out some normies
-The time has come for you to seal the deal with your significant other
Don't use innuendos when:
-Trying to make a good first impression. Most people don't have an appreciation for them.
-You're talking to someone stupid, as asking them to "come up for coffee" will go right over their heads.
-With the parents of your significant other. They won't appreciate it.
Allan... Only you could make an entire post dedicated to the art of being "artfully vile." I have respect for your directness, but some of these recommendations are confusing at best. For instance, the implication that "Health 1" is enough to understand the ins and outs of intercourse is disingenuous at best and an outright lie at worst. An equivalent to what you said is "In order to do heart surgery, you must take freshman biology in highschool to understand the ins and outs of the heart." Intercourse is a far more nuanced art than that, I'm sure. Another example of your facetious claims is in the third "section." Innuendos are fantastic for a first impression! I can't think of a person in the world who wouldn't enjoy discussing the "ins and outs of intercourse" via veiled speech on a first meeting. It's practically a prerequisite for discourse.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, Allan, I'm disappointed with the innaccuracies of your claims. I expect more from the author of such amazing blog posts such as "A discourse on the art of dumpster diving" and "Why are drugs bad." Not your finest work, sir. I'll be speaking with your manager about this.